{"id":111882,"date":"2023-12-07T10:00:17","date_gmt":"2023-12-07T08:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/?p=111882"},"modified":"2024-01-22T11:40:07","modified_gmt":"2024-01-22T09:40:07","slug":"how-everyone-online-became-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/how-everyone-online-became-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"Wie alle im Internet zu \u201cMutter\u201d wurden\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":272,"featured_media":111884,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4568,10172],"tags":[10246,18235],"class_list":["post-111882","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","category-film","tag-mother","tag-sleek-79"],"acf":{"legacy":false,"exclude_from_ads":[],"hero_title":"","subtitle":"An Essay by Laura 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Scroll through the comments under any Beyonc\u00e9<\/a> or Taylor Swift<\/a> video and you are bound to find the word mother. Through \u201cthat\u2019s mother\u201d or \u201cmother is mothering,\u201d the term has become a staple across fandom universes online. When K-Pop idol Minnie<\/a> performs, devoted fans call her \u201cMinnie mother\u201d. Actor Pedro Pascal<\/a> has been dubbed \u201cfather\u201d across social media and American singer Meghan Trainor<\/a> even gave herself the title in 2022 with the release of her single, <\/span>Mother<\/span><\/i>. While it may appear that 2023 was the year that everyone online became \u201cmother,\u201d the roots of the phrase extend far beyond the onset of TikTok. With origins in the Black and Latino L.G.B.T.Q. ballroom scene, the misused and un-credited use of \u201cmother\u201d is now running rampant online.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Julian Kevon Glover, Assistant Professor of Gender Sexuality and Women’s Studies and Dance and Choreography at Virginia Commonwealth University, says that the proliferation of the term beyond the ballroom scene speaks to a general need for nurturing. \u201cOne of the generative things about ballroom is that the terms mother and father have never been exclusive on who can perform that labor,\u201d she says. \u201cThe mother of the house can be a cisgender gay man.\u201d <\/span>Instead of being gender-specific, Glover says it\u2019s instead characterised by the types of nurturing labor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Glover was an active part of the ballroom scene, she says she was reticent to walk until the mother of the house encouraged them to do so. This included not just teaching Glover the elements of vogue, but also making sure she had the resources to pay entrance into the bowl and create their own effect. \u201cThe father of the house is interested in making sure everyone has a chance to participate, so their labor might be making sure the house as a whole is taken care of,\u201d they say \u201cWhereas the mother is more detail-oriented, specifically making sure that not only does the individual have the materials that they need, but that they emotionally are in a state where they can be a formidable competitor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"images","gallery":[{"ID":111883,"id":111883,"title":"","filename":"IMG_0705.jpeg","filesize":73389,"url":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","link":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/how-everyone-online-became-mother\/img_0705\/","alt":"","author":"1","description":"","caption":"","name":"img_0705","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":111882,"date":"2023-11-27 13:35:33","modified":"2023-11-27 13:37:40","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":1170,"height":864,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","thumbnail-width":128,"thumbnail-height":96,"medium":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","medium-width":1170,"medium-height":864,"medium_large":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","medium_large-width":1170,"medium_large-height":864,"large":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","large-width":1170,"large-height":864,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","1536x1536-width":1170,"1536x1536-height":864,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","2048x2048-width":1170,"2048x2048-height":864,"trp-custom-language-flag":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","trp-custom-language-flag-width":16,"trp-custom-language-flag-height":12,"wpvr_mobile":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0705.jpeg","wpvr_mobile-width":1170,"wpvr_mobile-height":864}},{"ID":111886,"id":111886,"title":"","filename":"IMG_0708.jpeg","filesize":98523,"url":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","link":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/how-everyone-online-became-mother\/img_0708\/","alt":"","author":"1","description":"","caption":"","name":"img_0708","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":111882,"date":"2023-11-27 13:35:36","modified":"2023-11-27 13:38:02","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":1170,"height":1136,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","thumbnail-width":99,"thumbnail-height":96,"medium":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","medium-width":1170,"medium-height":1136,"medium_large":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","medium_large-width":1170,"medium_large-height":1136,"large":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","large-width":1170,"large-height":1136,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","1536x1536-width":1170,"1536x1536-height":1136,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","2048x2048-width":1170,"2048x2048-height":1136,"trp-custom-language-flag":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","trp-custom-language-flag-width":12,"trp-custom-language-flag-height":12,"wpvr_mobile":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0708.jpeg","wpvr_mobile-width":1170,"wpvr_mobile-height":1136}}],"settings":{"fit_width":"4","caption":""}},{"acf_fc_layout":"text_area","text_area":"

Among social media fandom culture, the use of \u201cmother\u201d and \u201cfather\u201d has unsurprisingly become heavily gendered. It\u2019s also watered-down the nurturing labor aspect of the roles, crowing celebrities that aren\u2019t known for giving back to their communities with the titles. \u201cUsing it in those contexts online does muddy the water of the kind of mentoring layer that people do,\u201d says Glover, who doesn\u2019t personally consider Taylor Swift a \u201cmother\u201d. Glover says the one celebrity she considers worthy of the term is Rihanna<\/a>, for not only her 20-year career but also her engagement with fans and previous attendance at ballroom events, including as a judge at the 30th anniversary of the House of Miyake-Mugler.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jacob Jackson<\/a>, a TikTok creator based in Oklahoma, first encountered how the internet currently uses the term \u201cmother\u201d during Lady Gaga\u2019s rise to fame in 2008. Gaga is known as \u201cMother Monster\u201d to her fans. While Jackson feels like that use is still outside of its original context, Jackson says Lady Gaga has \u201cdone a lot more than others to earn the title\u201d \u2014 including being a \u201cfierce defender\u201d of the <\/span>L.G.B.T.Q. community. <\/span>\u201cIt\u2019s most often being attributed to largely white pop stars,\u201d they say. \u201cBlack queer culture has always been at the forefront of creating trends and introducing new slang. The main gripe I have with this is that people seemingly can\u2019t just enjoy our contributions \u2014 they have to own it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kevin Aviance<\/a>, a New York ballroom legend and nightclub icon says that \u201cmother\u201d has always been part of Black culture. \u201cI\u2019ve never had it not be part of my life,\u201d he says. \u201cIt\u2019s nice to know that in the ballroom or Black gay community and find a secondary family.\u201d Aviance\u2019s mother is Mother Juan Aviance. \u201cI feel like he birthed me, he discovered me,\u201d he says. \u201cHe gave me my first bottle and my first place to live.\u201d Despite this, Aviance says he has no aspirations of being a \u201cmother\u201d. \u201cThere\u2019s a big difference between mothering and just being an auntie or fellow sister,\u201d he says. \u201cI have no stretch marks. I never want to be a mother. I like being mothered and I like learning.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"images","gallery":[{"ID":111884,"id":111884,"title":"","filename":"IMG_0706.jpeg","filesize":87346,"url":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","link":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/how-everyone-online-became-mother\/img_0706\/","alt":"","author":"1","description":"","caption":"","name":"img_0706","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":111882,"date":"2023-11-27 13:35:35","modified":"2023-11-27 13:36:52","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":1170,"height":951,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","thumbnail-width":118,"thumbnail-height":96,"medium":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","medium-width":1170,"medium-height":951,"medium_large":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","medium_large-width":1170,"medium_large-height":951,"large":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","large-width":1170,"large-height":951,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","1536x1536-width":1170,"1536x1536-height":951,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","2048x2048-width":1170,"2048x2048-height":951,"trp-custom-language-flag":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","trp-custom-language-flag-width":15,"trp-custom-language-flag-height":12,"wpvr_mobile":"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_0706.jpeg","wpvr_mobile-width":1170,"wpvr_mobile-height":951}}],"settings":{"fit_width":"4","caption":""}},{"acf_fc_layout":"text_area","text_area":"

As we witness ballroom culture becoming more mainstream and the monumental rise of <\/span>RuPaul\u2019s Drag Race<\/span><\/i>, ballroom terms are spreading like wildfire on social media. Mother, of course, is not the only one. \u201cEverybody\u2019s is saying \u201cdeath drop\u201d but not all of the dances are death drops. There\u2019s a dance that everyone calls a death drop, but it\u2019s not a death drop,\u201d says Aviance. \u201cVoguing is such a serious thing that people make sure they are trained to do eloquently and they’re not taking our gay dance seriously.\u201d <\/span>L. Ayu Saraswati, a Professor at the University of Hawaii, says terms are often \u201c<\/span>dehistoricised and decontextualised\u201d on the internet, for them to travel to other spaces and become viral.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For Glover, paying homage to the rich history of \u201cmother\u201d could be as simple as saying \u201cin the traditional of the ballroom scene\u201d. \u201cIf you\u2019re not from ballroom, before using a term that emanates from it, simply say that and then say whatever you\u2019re going to say,\u201d they add. On TikTok, this would no doubt be followed by a resounding: \u201cThat\u2019s so mother\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"text_area","text_area":"

As featured in SLEEK 79 \u2013 MOTHER. 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