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courtesy of Lex."}},{"acf_fc_layout":"text_area","text_area":"

French psychoanalyst Jaques <\/span>Lacan famously defined love as giving something you don\u2019t have to someone who doesn\u2019t want it. Which is to say, love is that which is impossible\u2014it demands more than we believe ourselves willing or able to give. Dating apps\u2014such as Tinder (with a reported 57 million users), Grindr, Bumble and Hinge, and the countless varieties of the same mould\u2014are built upon the opposite framework. They present us with a catalogue of human options, and allow us to make choices based on proximity and aesthetics. They are utilitarian, pragmatic, transactional. Swiping feels like shopping. Surprise in love, like life, creates possibility. But in the context of our data-centric lives, surprise is a disadvantage, and we are training ourselves against it. <\/span>He looked better in his photo. We had nothing to talk about IRL.<\/span><\/i> And so on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course,\u00a0 it doesn\u2018t have to be this way, nor was it always. Writing about Craigslist in <\/span>The Lonely City <\/span><\/i>(2016), Olivia Laing said: \u201cI always found it weirdly cheering. The unashamed display of need, the sheer range and specificity of things that people wanted was far more reassuring and democratic than the preening, exacting profiles that appeared on the more sanitised dating sites.\u201d Now that <\/span>dating on Craigslist is no<\/span><\/a> more<\/span><\/a>, Tinder is recording and profiting from <\/span>our personal data<\/span><\/a>, and BumbleBiz exists (inherently depressing, requiring no qualifiers), are there any corners of the internet where our interactions remain unquantified, where pathos and play is encouraged? Enter <\/span>Lex<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"instagram","code":"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B5Bx1ElBA59\/","settings":{"width":"10"}},{"acf_fc_layout":"text_area","text_area":"

Launched earlier this month, Lex bills itself as \u201ca lo-fi, text-based dating and social app for lesbian, bisexual, asexual, and queer people.\u201d What makes it different is that is a dating app build upon the text-based personal ad framework\u2014advertisements traditionally found at the back of newspapers, sometimes endearingly referred to as \u2018lonely hearts\u2019, in which one describes, in condensed sentences familiar to our online generation, who you are and what you are looking for. There is no way to write an indifferent personal ad. It demands that you articulate your desire, your longing, and that you are, in other words, vulnerable. You can, of course, rely on a stolen joke or trope, but it functions better if you don\u2018t, as browsing the <\/span>MetOnPersonals<\/span><\/a> hashtag on Instagram will tell you. Specifity is everything (\u201cmy knees go weak for moderately dominant-sadistic big butch women,\u201d writes <\/span>I\u2019M INSAITABLE<\/span><\/a> in <\/span>On Our Back Magazine <\/span><\/i>in 1989), though humour is good too (\u201cMy ex\u2013bf once got me a donut (just a donut) for Christmas, and I\u2019m pretty sure that\u2019s why I\u2019m a lesbian now. hmu, my standards are low! writes <\/span>MORE THAN JUST DONUTS?<\/span><\/a> in 2019).<\/span><\/p>\n

Lex grew out of the popular Instagram account, @<\/span>h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y<\/span><\/a>, which photo editor-turned-app founder <\/span>Kells Rakowski<\/span><\/a> began\u2014as she tells SLEEK\u2014\u201cin an effort to educate myself about lesbian \u2018herstory\u2019 and culture\u201d in 2017. While researching in the digital archive of the lesbian erotica magazine <\/span>On Our Back (<\/span><\/i>the first <\/span>women-run<\/span><\/a> erotica magazine, and the first magazine to publish lesbian erotica to a female audience in the US) for her Instagram account, <\/span>Rakowski\u00a0 encountered a wealth of personal ads, and began posting them online. \u201cThey were an instant hit,\u201d Rakowski says. The vulnerability, play and performance of the language of the personal ad was relatable to our own queer generation. Here, there were people revealing themselves in a radically open way without shame and worry about how they would be perceived. \u201cI think language is extra important to the queer community,\u201d Rakowski says.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"instagram","code":"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B4-jM8iBPxf\/","settings":{"width":"10"}},{"acf_fc_layout":"text_area","text_area":"

Inspired by the vintage ads she discovered, Rakowski did a call out for personal ads on Instagram, before making a Google Doc form for followers of @h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y to write their own personal ads. \u201cI started posting personals on @h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y which quickly overwhelmed the account, so I started the Personals Instagram and featured only personal ads. It became unsustainable (posting up to 20 per day) so this led to the idea of building an app.\u201d Early in November, the Personals Instagram account changed to @<\/span>lex.app<\/span><\/a>. While still maintaining an account on Instagram, Rakowski <\/span>posted an image<\/span><\/a> on 5 November to say that it would be the \u201cfinal signoff\u201d from the Personals Instagram as it evolves \u201cinto an independent queer dating platform (not owned by Facebook)\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rakowski cites examples of cross-country relationships and community building that have emerged from Personals\u2014\u201cThere are so many stories! From engagements, marriages, dating, hook-ups, breakups, friendships, sexting, community art projects, protest poster making, <\/span>The<\/span><\/i> Great British Bake Off<\/span><\/i> watching, and everything in between.\u201d Unlike other dating apps, you don\u2019t begin with a picture on Lex. While you can choose to link to your Instagram, an initial attraction is sparked by a command of language and a knowledge of oneself. Rakowski describes this as \u201ca thoughtful process\u201d. She explains, \u201cthere’s time to slow down and reflect on who you are and what kind of relationship you’re looking for. The readers of the personals might relate to and become more open to someone they normally wouldn’t be attracted to, but the beauty of the personal ad is that you don’t judge a book by its cover. The selfies come second.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n"},{"acf_fc_layout":"instagram","code":"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/B4YGtbtA3WI\/","settings":{"width":"10"}}]},"yoast_head":"\nLex, the lo-fi lesbian dating app where "selfies come second" Lex, the lo-fi lesbian dating app where "selfies come second"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/lex-the-lesbian-dating-app\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Lex, the lo-fi lesbian dating app where "selfies come second" Lex, the lo-fi lesbian dating app where "selfies come second"\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/lex-the-lesbian-dating-app\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Sleek Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sleekmag\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-11-27T16:11:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-07-20T14:24:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@sleekmag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@sleekmag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Verfasst von\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"sleek team\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/\",\"name\":\"Sleek Magazine\",\"description\":\"Sleek is Germany\u2019s leading independent media house\/brand for creativity and innovation located in Berlin the creative capital of the world. 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