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Salom\u00e9 Balthus (AKA Hanna Lakomy) is an author, sex worker and a very sharp mind. A conversation with her offers plenty of opportunity to bring new perspectives to your own. For this issue, <\/span>SLEEK<\/span><\/i> publisher, Christian Bracht, invited her to talk about power, instinct, fantasy and sex.<\/span><\/p>\n

SLEEK: Thank you for taking up our invitation. You studied philosophy \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Salom\u00e9 Balthus: Absolutely.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: How would you explain the power our mind has over our instincts?<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: We don\u2019t actually always have power over our minds: It\u2019s more that there\u2019s an interaction going on. And I think it\u2019s very different between men and women. In my experience male desire, which literally overpowers us, is different from female desire. I can\u2019t imagine starting to stutter or drool, for instance. There\u2019s an urgency to male desire that you just don\u2019t find with women. It\u2019s easy to see when we\u2019re driven by instincts: it\u2019s basically whenever we need to react quickly, when we don\u2019t have time or feel stressed or irritable. But there\u2019s also a very rational instinct that\u2019s not physical at all. As an emancipated woman, I have the privilege of being able to sit back and observe things as though they didn\u2019t affect me. I can adopt the perspective of a woman who\u2019s not observing her body, but is in a club lounge with the men and is observing with them, together. I\u2019m also privileged never to have been the victim of an \u2018instinct\u2019 before.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: And what about from a work perspective?<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: In my job, an understanding of instincts is one of the basics. I like to divide people into two types: instinct-driven and perverts. Perverts need it all happening in their head at some point and can go for years without having sex. It\u2019s a different type of instinct. A mental one. But why are we talking about instincts when it\u2019s actually all about power?<\/span><\/p>\n

S: I was just trying to develop a feeling for who you are \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: I see\u2026.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: Why do we find it so difficult to deal with our desires, fantasies and instincts?<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: You know, I come from a strange corner of the world. I think a lot of people are scared to let themselves go in case they get punished for it. They\u2019re scared they won\u2019t be able to undo what they\u2019ve done. So it\u2019s about the need for security, which has a lot to do with Protestantism and the deep-seated idea that pleasure is somehow forbidden.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: So the overarching theme is morality?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: Well, the churches are all very much in agreement as to what constitutes adultery and sexuality according to their idea of morality. But you really do wonder why it\u2019s about sexuality, of all things. Morality concerns so many different things. Questions around the possession of property or the killing of animals have all been resolved and are nowhere near as much an intrusion on a person\u2019s feelings of shame. But sexuality and nakedness are huge in comparison, and there\u2019s so much shame around them. Physicality is just something people can get caught up in. A life of hedonism just isn\u2019t compatible with the kind of productivity modern society demands. There are two clear groups: the sensual types and the others, who work [laughs]!\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

S: You once said you get a kick out of \u2018the moment\u2019 in your work. Isn\u2019t the perception of \u2018the moment\u2019 also a kind of power?<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: A moment is the shortest time. When it\u2019s coming, it\u2019s not yet there. And as soon as it\u2019s there, it\u2019s gone again. Surrendering to the moment doesn\u2019t actually have that much to do with power at all. It\u2019s a form of self-control, you could say, the ability to shed all your fears and just lose yourself, to just say to yourself, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, you\u2019ll be fine,\u201d and then just let it happen. Maybe the secret of power is not to cling to it. Maybe true power is power that does not possess an\u00a0 awareness of its own existence; [a power] that doesn\u2019t constantly need reaffirming and defending.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: That\u2019s a great thought.<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: It is, for a man like you [laughs]<\/span>.<\/span><\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

S: Can you give us a definition of lust?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: More. More, more, more. You want more, and yet at the same time, you want things to stay exactly as they are. It\u2019s a total contradiction.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: If you could, how would you set your fantasies and needs free?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: Not all of them should be set free, actually. Some should stay firmly under lock and key \u2013 for very good reasons. People say there\u2019s nothing worse than a wish that has been fulfilled. I find that very meaningful and would include our erotic fantasies in that. I would draw a clear distinction between fantasies you can realise without any problem and fantasies you could realise, theoretically, but that are in actual fact better than reality. And then there are fantasies that we know full well that we wouldn\u2019t really ever want them to come true. Some things are only justifiable as fantasies. But fantasies are, by their very nature, completely free, so there\u2019s no need to release them. I think it\u2019s quite good for us Germans, especially, not to let all our fantasies run wild.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: What role does power play in sex?<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: An important one. Sex itself is a kind of interplay, but at some point, there is always one partner who takes the dominant role. To me, there\u2019s nothing more ridiculous than making sure everyone has equal rights during sex. If both people try to be as selfish as they can, one will give in slightly more, then the other will give in, and that, to me, is good sex. And by that I don\u2019t mean any violent acts as defined by the penal code. Sex is an instinct that\u2019s driven by desire.<\/span><\/p>\n

S: Do social or political power relations affect our sex?<\/span><\/p>\n

SB: Of course they do. Basically, you could say that the more a person is repressed, the stronger their urges become. So the question is: should we strive for a slightly less liberated society because it would make us all a bit hornier? Or should we aim for a more liberal society and then accept that nothing really matters because we can always get what we want anyway? Luckily, I\u2019m not the one who has to decide these things. I just respond to the way things are.<\/span><\/p>\n

As featured in SLEEK 71 \u2013 Power<\/a>.<\/p>\n"}]},"yoast_head":"\nIn Conversation with Salom\u00e9 Balthus - Sleek Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/in-conversation-with-salome-balthus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"In Conversation with Salom\u00e9 Balthus - Sleek Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/de\/article\/in-conversation-with-salome-balthus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Sleek Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sleekmag\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-02-11T13:30:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-02-11T13:31:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@sleekmag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@sleekmag\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Verfasst von\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"sleek\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.sleek-mag.com\/\",\"name\":\"Sleek Magazine\",\"description\":\"Sleek is Germany\u2019s leading independent media house\/brand for creativity and innovation located in Berlin the creative capital of the world. 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