J MAHON (FKA Emerson Snowe)

SLEEK:  Let’s start with a simple question. What has happened to you in the last year? 

J MAHON:  I guess this is the first year of some form of normalcy. At the start of the year, the contract I had with my label in Australia came to an end, so I was back to being an independent artist. Before I was signed, I would write and record a full EP a day; I had this whole different kind of freedom that you don’t really get when working with a label. Having recently moved to Berlin, I questioned whether I had made the right decision or if I had just shot myself in the foot by becoming independent. After some time of working alone, I put a post online to see if there was anyone out there who wanted to play in a live band setting. That’s when I met Jascha [drummer] and Florian [bassist]. We started doing weekly rehearsals and it soon became a kind of ritual. It was great to hear songs from my catalogue finally being played. Working with a band here in Berlin really encouraged me to perceive the city in a new way. Before, I had people reaching out to me to collaborate but I just felt, for whatever reason, that I couldn’t. Maybe I didn’t want to let people in? But for the first time in a long time, I feel very comfortable and just happy to be where I am. It’s a beautiful thing to be alive. 

S:  You’re currently touring Europe. Can you describe how it feels when you’re doing a show, when you’re right in the middle of the music? 

JH:  It’s always interesting to see how the crowd reacts to certain songs. I’ll see someone holding hands with their partner or someone standing completely still or someone else slowly swaying. Even though I’m performing, I’ll always notice these little things happening in the crowd. It’s very touching. Then there’s after the show, when I end up interacting with the crowd and speaking with them. It’s interesting: recently I’ve really felt like I’m here, in the present, which has always been something I’ve struggled with. There are times when I feel like I’m just watching things happen from above, not in control or aware. So when I’m speaking to people after the show, and I feel like I can really listen to and engage with them, I come away feeling very moved. 

S: I’m curious to know how you come up with your lyrics. Do the words simply fall onto a sheet of paper, or is it a process of constructing and deconstructing them until it feels right?

JH:  I’ve always had the same process. I’ll come up with something on my guitar and then I’ll hit record. Usually, it takes one or two takes of me just improvising it and then I’ll add other instruments. When it comes to the vocals, I don’t write anything down, I just say the first things that come to mind. My lyrics are really representative of how I feel because it’s this kind of stream of consciousness just flowing out of me. While I often revisit tracks to polish up the sounds or alter a melody, the lyrics never change. They reflect a point in time. To be too meticulous about the construction of the lyrics, would be inauthentic and dishonest – at least for me anyway. 

S:  Your process seems very intimate and personal, yet you have a kind of power over this intimacy in sharing it with others. Why is it important to share these vulnerabilities with others? 

JH:  When I’m writing, it’s the one time when I’m not thinking about anything. My songs are kind of like diary entries that reveal my truest self. Vulnerability for me is not something I ever set out to achieve within my music but it happens because there’s no other way for me to create. A couple of weeks ago, when I played a show in London, tons of people came and said that they’d been listening to my music since I had first started at 19. It’s funny, but it’s always when you’re genuinely creating things and being yourself that people start to notice and interact. Most of the time, I don’t realise how I’m feeling until I listen back to a song and the lyrics. It helps me to understand myself. I hope sharing with others helps them to understand some part of themselves too. 

S:  In sharing with others, are you freeing your feelings from control? 

JH:  Absolutely. It makes me feel alive. I’m so fascinated with the idea that something wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t made it, you know? My songs wouldn’t exist if I didn’t pick up my guitar. They wouldn’t exist without my feelings. Being able to communicate through music makes me feel alive. It reminds me that I’m real. 

S:  You say your process is like a “stream of consciousness”. Does your environment affect what you create or is it not important at all? 

JH:  Yeah, I’d say the environment impacts my work. It’s interesting to go to different places and see what happens creatively. When I do write, it’s rarely ever something I sit down and set out to do. It just happens wherever I am, almost like an urge. 

S:  What is important to you? 

JH:  The amazing people around me, my partner Miriam Marlene, my dog, watering my garden. I’m not taking anything for granted any more. 

S:  How do you reflect the world in which we are all moving right now? 

JH:  It’s pretty uncomfortable and frightening. It’s tough to see how it’s affecting those around me. It’s hard to process everything that’s going on in the world when you’re still figuring your own stuff out. 

S:  Is your independence a reaction to that? 

JH:  Definitely. A lot of things happened when I made the decision that I was going to be in control of my own life. I can’t sit around waiting for something to happen, I have to make it happen. I’m an artist who lives through it. At no point do I walk away from what I do. You know, I don’t have another job and there’s no other passion. All I have is this – even when it gets tough. I am living and breathing it. 

S:  What do you think about happiness? 

JH:  I think it’s important to allow yourself to feel it. Sometimes when I’m happy, my immediate thought is that it’ll end soon and so I prevent myself from really feeling it. I’m learning that life is about changes of state, so, when I’m down, I remember to tell myself that things will get better. They always do. 

S:  Are you a seeker of happiness? 

JH:  I don’t know if I’m quite seeking it out. I think I’m just more open to it now. In the past, I would try to find happiness in certain things or people and would always be left disappointed. Now, I’m in the mindset of if it comes, it comes. 

S:  What brings you reassurance and comfort? 

JH:  At the moment, I’m honestly not sure. I feel like so much of my life is centred around this one room here. Maybe in a year I’ll have an answer. 

As featured in SLEEK 75 – HAPPINESS. Available in print and digital here.

J MAHON (FKA Emerson Snowe)

Australian musician and artist J MAHON is constantly writing and recording new songs, gathering a prolific catalogue of more than 500 tracks. Having toured Australia with Ariel Pink, King Krule and GUM (Jay Watson of Pond and Tame Impala), he is currently living in Berlin. As an artist, Snowe has also worked in the past with Hedi Slimane for the Celine men’s collection.