Eva wears HOODIE & SKIRT SUNNA BAK BANGLES Stylist's own.
When I open my laptop and see mylifeaseva flash across the screen, it feels like I’ve stepped into a time machine back to 2013. For a split second, I am back in my teenage bedroom, waiting for ‘Literally My Life’ to start playing. But the spell breaks as soon as a cheerful ‘hello!’ comes through the speakers, snapping me back to the present. Eva Gutowski, better known as mylifeaseva, or now Marisol, answers the call from NYC, where she produces electronic music and works as a DJ.
The internet of the 2010s is easy to romanticise – a seemingly simpler time painted in pastel hues, brimming with ‘Get-Ready-With-Me’ videos and mall-haul vlogs. Back then, people could sit through ten-minute YouTube videos without spiralling into hours of doom scrolling. Eva started her YouTube channel in those early days, making her one of the originals, long before the rise of influencers redefined the digital landscape. She has lived through and grown with every era of the internet’s rapid evolution while navigating the different chapters of her own persona. Because beneath the cheery YouTube fantasy, there was always something deeper. Eva describes her YouTube career as an act of rebellion – a colourful defiance of the constraints she felt growing up. For her, creating mylifeaseva was freedom. Now, as Marisol, which is her middle name as well as her new alias, she pours herself into electronic music to express a different, rawer side of her soul – the same soul that once manifested as bubbly YouTube videos and now takes its form in music.
Eva wears DRESS & BOOTS LUAR.
Angelina Mo: The name mylifeaseva instantly evokes a very nostalgic touchstone for many teens of the 2010s. How did being active online during the early YouTube era shape your personal growth?
Eva Gutowski: Honestly, having so much of my life online feels very meaningful to me. While most people might dread the idea of their late teens and early twenties being so public, for me, it’s like a time capsule. I can look back and see my cringeworthy moments, my successes, bad relationships, great ones – it’s all there, documenting how far I’ve come. I’ve always been open about the highs and lows, and I think that resonates with people. If they see me being embarrassed or vulnerable online and still move forward, they realise that they can do it, too – whether it’s a bad relationship or a proud achievement. Putting myself out there online, I knew and accepted that there would be lots of comments, both negative and positive. I take the good, the bad and the ugly, and I push past it.
Eva wears CATSUIT Norma Kamali FUR Hector Ducoux GLASSES Versace SHOES Stylist's own.
AM: It must have been a challenge to get into this mindset; after all, you have been active online for over ten years.
EG: Not really, I came straight onto the internet with this attitude. I really didn’t care what people thought of me. I went through so many hardships at a young age, including a traumatic sexual assault when I was a young teenager in high school. That taught me so much about resilience and about having to find the positive in everything after having been through something that hard. So, ever since I was a teenager, I had this attitude where I felt like the worst things can happen to me and I will be okay and move past it. When I get hate comments online, all I think is, ‘Who cares about any of that?’ I can get through real life, facing hardships far beyond the digital realm, and I can still be confident in myself – someone’s mean comments have absolutely no impact on me.
AM: With so much of your life documented online, capturing different eras and your personal growth, did you find it challenging to evolve when people associate you with a specific chapter of your past? How has your relationship with being online changed as you have grown into the person you are today?
EG: When I started working in social media, there was little to gain from it. The word ‘influencer’ didn’t exist; I don’t even think you had the option to monetise your channel. It was a very different time; back then, those who published videos online did it because they truly loved it. There was nothing to gain from it other than having a small audience that really cared and wanted to be a part of a community. Now, everyone is trying to grow their social media to reach celebrity status. That makes it hard for me these days, because when I started social media, I feel like there was a wholesomeness there that I miss now. I definitely went through a point in my life a couple years ago where I was at a crossroads. Posting daily TikToks felt disconnected and inauthentic, nothing like the creative joy I had felt with mylifeaseva. I had to step back and rediscover my purpose.
Eva wears BODY Stylist's own BRALETTE & SHORTS TTSWTRS.
AM: Is that why you chose to go by Marisol for your career in music, to mark a new chapter?
EG: Making music wasn’t for anyone else but me. For a long time, I contemplated whether I should release music under a pseudonym and not tell anyone about it. At the same time though, I wanted to share my music with my followers and was trying to think of a cool name suitable for an electronic music producer; everything I came up with seemed too cheesy. Suddenly I thought, ‘What about my middle name?’ It sounds cool and no one really knows it, but it is still very true to me.
AM: You also released some songs during your mid-2010s YouTube career as mylifeaseva. How did these evolve into Marisol’s current electronic sounds?
EG: People mostly know me for mylifeaseva, with its colourful and fun vibe. What they don’t realise is that it was my way of creating the world I didn’t have when I was growing up. When I got my first camera, I built this vibrant, idealised version of life – what I imagined others were experiencing at my age. People often say, ‘Eva, you made me think high school would be amazing,’ and then I say, ‘Same! I thought that, too!’ In reality, my upbringing was the opposite. I found myself in music during the Indie Sleaze and Scene era, starting with my high school boyfriend who had incredible taste in niche indie music and listened to Crystal Castles in 2008. Their dark electronic sound shaped me – I was obsessed. I was obsessed with the world that music created.
LEFT Eva wears CATSUIT Norma Kamali SKIRT TTSWTRS SHOES Stylist's own RIGHT Eva wears CATSUIT Norma Kamali GLASSES Versace.
AM: What was the process of producing your upcoming EP which launches in February 2025?
EG: I started working on it about two years ago. Before diving into the process myself, I always wondered why artists take so long to release an EP – now I get it. Along the way, I got to work with UK artists like Fred Again and Joy Anonymous who are both incredible talents. The UK music scene right now is so inspiring and had a significant impact on my EP’s sound. It features UK basslines, Techno, and Acid, blending into something melodic and cinematic, exploring themes of pain and pleasure. The sound feels earthy and mysterious, like lying in a misty forest at night. I produced, mixed, and engineered everything – it’s entirely self-produced.
Eva wears DRESS WHO DECIDES WAR NECKLACE & EARRING Stylist's own.
AM: Do you approach DJing the same way as music making?
EG: With DJing, I feel like I’m a bit sneaky – I try to give people what they didn’t know they wanted. They come expecting certain sounds, and I surprise them with something unexpected that makes them even happier. I start with just enough to keep them comfortable, then take them on a dark, cathartic, and transformative journey – almost like a therapy session at 160 BPM.
CREDITS
Photography: Luisa Opalesky
Creative Direction: Hannes Aechter, Saskia Jung
Styling: Sophie Bohmeier
MakeUp: Mikayla Smith
Hair: Silvia Cincotta
Styling Assistant: Hilton Palmer
Production: Hannes Aechter
As featured in SLEEK 83 – CALM. Available in print and digital here.