Photography by Elena Peters-Arnolds.
Avi Jakobs lights up the room with a bright welcome in a typical gloomy Berlin ground floor apartment. After just recently moved into her new place, a few things are still missing. Despite the uneven floor and the collection of parcels accumulating in the kitchen, an exciting chapter awaits Avi. After being one out of five from Queer Eye Germany, Avi was forced to come out of her shell as more and more eyes were on her. With more exposure, comes more potential to have a louder voice.
Avi’s instagram experienced a constant rise in followers since the screening of the Netflix show, making her adapt the relationship to her community while staying intimate and personal on her account. As a public LGBTQIA+ figure, Avi is well aware of the weight that is lying on her and doesn’t want to let that control the way she presents herself.
SLEEK talks to Avi Jakobs about the documentary series she has been moderating titled ‘Beyond Fashion’, which takes a closer look at the fashion industry, how she deals with social media and her own approach to making her home a safe space.
Photography by Elena Peters-Arnolds.
SLEEK: How would you describe your own relationship with fashion?
Avi Jakobs: I have always loved fashion, even as a small child. Growing up quite poor, I could never afford the clothes I really wanted, so I had to get creative and bought fabrics myself. I draped them and secured them with safety pins. I had a very strong Rick Owens phase. I’ve bought many second hand purchases, not only because of the price point but also because of sustainability. That has always been a thing for me.
S: Did the filming of the documentary series “Beyond Fashion” also have an influence on your view on fashion?
AJ: Yes totally. Right after the production, I organised a flea market in my old apartment and donated the profits to charity. It was just a very natural process because 90 percent of my clothes is second hand and reselling sort of creates a number of lifetimes for one piece.
S: You were also part of the series Queer Eye Germany which is all about makeovers but not necessarily in a physical sense. Can you remember a time in your life that was kind of like a makeover phase?
AJ: To be honest, I even think it was the time during filming Queer Eye which has been a makeover for all of us. Instead of a makeover, we referred to it as coaching since it was all about the inner workings of our person. Our team worked so close together in that time period and we suddenly got to a point where we were asking ourselves why we give out so much good advice but don’t apply it on our own lives. I still used to work two days in a salon before my life took a whole turn.Everything after the screening has been a crazy ride.
Photography by Elena Peters-Arnolds.
S: How has your life been like after the screening?
AJ: It still feels so fast and difficult at times because things are just not the same as they used to be before which we were made very aware of. During and after we received psychological support who prepared us for what is to come, really making it clear that it is very hard to handle it all. What really changed is how people treat me, everyone is so nice all of the sudden, I don’t know if people really like me or if I just got the celebrity stamp.
S: How does it influence your mental state?
AJ: I constantly feel like someone is watching me because a lot more media is involved today. Before that, using my platform felt a little more intimate. I went on a talkshow recently, I was so nervous that I wrote down everything I wanted to say because I sometimes feel like I am expected to speak for the whole LGBTQIA+ community. A lot of pressure is involved, but I think a lot of that pressure comes from myself. Two days before an event, I can’t sleep and I need the following three days to calm down again.
S: Do you feel like you have to justify your identity?
AJ: Often, I really have to step over my own shadow if I haven’t talked to my followers in a long time. Since everything is shifting towards video content on social media, which is more intimate than photos. You are forced to open up and become vulnerable in order to change something. That goes truly goes against my nature since I am such a cancer baby. Regardless, I think it is super important to use my voice and force myself to share my feelings because I know that it can help someone.
Photography by Elena Peters-Arnolds.
S: A few months ago, you posted a video in which you introduced yourself as Avi to your followers. Did this post feel necessary to you?
AJ: I couldn’t escape not posting the statement because I wanted people to know me by the name Avi. It’s always this conflict inside me that on the one hand I want to educate people and talk about it more but on the other hand it is just so hard for me. But ultimately, I believe it’s the only way I can also encourage people who are in a similar situation.
S: You just recently moved into your new apartment and are sharing a lot on your social media about how you make this place feel like home. Is interior also connected to your identity?
AJ: I got it from my mum. When I was a child, we had colourful walls all over our apartment and even left one big wall free to paint motives on them. In my new apartment, I also painted a cupboard that had so many different random woods worked into it because it was thrifted. Usually, when I move into a new place my mindset is new flat, new me, new everything but this time around I thought I really can’t continue like this.
S: Speaking of makeovers, how would your own makeover look like?
AJ: For me, it would be more of an internal process. I always had the characteristic of being a people pleaser and only feeling fine when I know everyone around me is also doing good, which often leads to me forgetting about my own needs. Saying no is hard for me. These are all things that I plan to work on.
CREDITS
Photography: Elena Peters-Arnolds
Talent: Avi Jakobs