Gossip Girl. Image Courtesy of Alloy Entertainment, Warner Bros. Television, CBS Television, Fake Empire Productions.
It’s Valentine’s Day. I’m sitting in the office. Just like every other day. At my desk, with coffee and my laptop in front of me. There’s no one else here yet. The view from the window is hazy. Not really gray, more like a dirty white void. The roofs of the buildings are gray too. Dark gray, light gray, blue-gray – okay, some are brown. Anyway, today is Valentine’s Day. My colleague, who usually sits next to me, received a bouquet of flowers: red, pink, and yellow roses. The packaging looks expensive. Probably from her boyfriend. I wonder if she’ll be happy later when she arrives? As I sit here trying to start the day productively, I look at the flowers and think, what have I actually done on Valentine’s Day in recent years?
Immediately, I have a picture in my mind: a girl with tousled hair like a vulture chick, sitting on the rumpled bed of a typical teenager’s room from the 2000s. There are colorful posters on the walls. A pink alarm clock and a small radio on the nightstand. The girl wears an oversized sweater hanging loosely over one shoulder, thick woolen socks, and a large cup of ice cream in her hand. As “10 Things I Hate About You” plays on the TV in front of her, thick tears roll down her cheeks – okay, that was a bit exaggerated. That’s not how I have spent past Valentine’s Days. I don’t even like ice cream (Although young Heath Ledger would melt my heart). But I feel like people expect your Valentine’s Day to look like that if you don’t have a date.
My mother always told me, “Valentine’s Day is just a consumer holiday from the USA!” And she was right. All the heart-shaped chocolates, teddy bears, Valentine’s Day deals, and flower sellers are greedily rubbing their hands together on the most important day of the year to get on your nerves as early as January. Even my laptop automatically added two birds sitting on a branch, kissing each other with their beaks to my desktop today. Sure, all of that is annoying. But do we have to roll our eyes every time someone mentions that you-know-which day?
LEFT Gossip Girl. Image Courtesy of Alloy Entertainment, Warner Bros. Television, CBS Television, Fake Empire Productions. RIGHT Legally Blonde. Image Courtesy of Metro Goldwyn Mayer, Marc Platt Productions.
Well, instead of rolling my eyes, Valentine’s Day gives me the opportunity to get lost in my imagination. I still dream of a knight on a white horse, with long hair blowing in the wind and a long silver cloak. It would be best if he was also the prince of a forgotten kingdom, riding towards me and rescuing me. I don’t know from where this comes from. Maybe from everyday life. I love kitsch. No wonder then that my very first childhood crush was Peter from “The Chronicles of Narnia,” riding into battle on the back of a unicorn. Anyway, I love thinking about my childhood crushes. About the first boy I ever fell in love with. Back then, I walked through the school halls every day, hoping he would cross my path. Or that he would see me and look at me when we stood in the schoolyard. Of course, I was too young then to really fall for someone. But it felt like it at the time. It was exciting, my heart was pounding like crazy; I was naive and carefree.
At that moment, my other colleague comes into the office and interrupts my morning daydreams. “I hate Valentine’s Day,” she says, seeing the flowers. Me too, I think. But somehow, not at all. Somehow, I love it. Somehow, I look forward to it every year: the newly in love couples, nervously spending their first Valentine’s Day together. With flowers, homemade gifts, and love letters. Or the couples who have been together a little longer and finally give themselves a break from everyday life, focusing only on each other for one evening. Exciting thoughts like: Is my ex thinking of me today? Should I text my crush? Or simply Galentine’s Day, like in “Gossip Girl” or “The Princess Diaries,” with silk sheets, cocktails, and face masks. That sounds a bit cheesy, I know – but love is in the air!
The Princess Diaries 2. Image Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures, BrownHouse Productions.
As I said, I love kitsch! And I’ll admit it now. If you’re sitting on the bed crying and watching “10 Things I Hate About You,” that’s not a bad thing. No! It just means that you show your own feelings on Valentine’s Day. And wanting your partner to give you something small is not shallow. It just means you want a sign of affection.
Almost all of us already have had our first big love. Our first big heartbreak. Our first disappointments. Of course, all of that has shaped us, we have learned and gained experience. Still, I often feel like all those love things make it only harder for me. I’m not as carefree anymore. I can’t let myself go as much as I did the first time. Maybe that’s why we should use Valentine’s Day to remind ourselves what it was like to be in love for the first time. Everyday life, the city, and reality are already gray enough. Maybe kitsch is exactly what we need.
While I’m writing my last sentences, my colleague who received the flowers this morning finally enters the office. “Oh no!”, she says “I knew he would do that. That is so embarrassing!” She tries to hide a big smile. Her cheeks are blushing. I told you so, Valentine’s Day is not that bad after all.