Inside Berlin’s LGBTQIA+ Community

Berlin may not be called the “city of love” but the metropolis is better known for its culture of freedom, and how its residents promote acceptance and respect for people of all genders and sexualities. In the early 1900s, Berlin was at the heart of queer culture in Europe, providing spaces and events for gay and trans people even while it was taboo. Today LGBTQIA+ life is even more embedded in the city’s culture: from FLINTA bookstores to queer film festivals to the annual Rave the Planet parade.

This spring, SLEEK teamed up with Hinge to interview ten queer people living in Berlin, to hear about their experiences with relationships, community, and personal identity. Hinge, the dating app designed to be deleted, has supported the queer dating scene through its ongoing commitment to creating a more inclusive app that better serves the needs of LGBTQIA+ daters.

We asked the featured individuals to respond to examples of Hinge prompts that were made specifically for LGBTQIA+ daters, ranging from personal anecdotes to individual needs in queer love. The prompts are meant as conversational icebreakers that allow LGBTQIA+ daters to express themselves better and connect based on shared experiences. From newcomers in the city still looking  for a relationship to a newlywed couple that met on Hinge, our interviewees have shared their stories about finding their identities and celebrating queerness through genuine and intimate connections with others.

Andrei moved to Berlin from a smaller German city. Here they feel better able to explore their genderfluid identity and to spend time with like-minded people.

SLEEK: What do you look for in relationships?

Andrei: I just look for people that don’t even have to try to understand me. When people get it, they just get it. They don’t ask you “what’s your gender exactly, are you trans, are you not?” Even though these questions have to come at some point. They dont mind that I am switching through genders all the time by myself and with others too.

S: How do you approach conversations on Hinge?

A: I just tend to wait for people to approach me. Then if I do like them, if I do like their vibe, I tend to always want to meet them in real life. To be able to bond and make a real connection. 

S: Has your perception of the queer scene changed over the years?

A: I feel like when you’re in a relationship, especially with someone that got to know you in a different state of your life, when you looked totally different, when you get to love yourself more, they will sometimes just distance themselves from you. And that might be hurtful, but that is fine. That’s also something that did change my way of thinking about the queer scene and especially the gay scene. As a non-binary person, I just don’t really find myself in the gay scene anymore. Just not accepted by them. Unfortunately. But that’s also something I don’t really have to be accepted into, because for that I got my own scene, my trans and non-binary scene. The queers. And I love my queers. 

S: How has your own gender identity evolved over the years?

A: I used to live in a small city before, and the queer scene there was not really existent, it was mostly gay white men. Already there I started transitioning, I started doing my thing, and I felt really proud of that. Obviously coming to Berlin, you just have way more ground to explore everything. So I attract the people that feel like me too. We just understand each other the most. So yeah, I got more ground to explore, but, I would say I was always like this, and I love it. That’s why.

Flo and Tom have been together for almost 10 years. We interviewed them at Flo’s tattoo studio, the MUSE, which Tom helped him open.

SLEEK: How did your chosen family support you when you were opening your shop?

Flo: Opening up my own shop was like a huge decision. Tom really helped and supported me. Not only emotionally, but also logistically wise, like setting up the studio, supporting me when I was down, when I needed help at any point, he was always there. I think I could never have done it without you. 

S: What’s important for you in a queer space?

Tom: To me, what’s important in a queer space is that things which earn you nasty looks outside, or things people are tearing you down for, are praised instead. This includes the way you look or the way you behave. That’s what makes you feel safe and welcomed. 

F: I think there is a high demand for people and especially queers to have a space where they can feel safe. And there are simply not that many. When you receive a tattoo you put yourself ina vulnerable position, so it’s even more crucial to feel safe. That’s why I as a tattoo artists feel responsible to open my own shop for those who seek refuge to fulfill a passion. Be themselves no matter what they look like, where they come from, what they do, whatever it is. Whoever enters my shop has the right to and can truly be themselves without any judgement. 

Anna is an influencer and digital creator, interested in photography and fashion.

Anna: That everything will work out. You are okay the way you are. Don’t put pressure on yourself on coming out. Your family will always love you no matter what, true friends stay and those who leave are not your friends.

That you don’t have to find the girl of your dreams at 18 after you come out. That your biggest heartbreaks will turn you into the person you are today and that you’ll meet so many amazing and loving people in your life who support you no matter what. Don’t limit yourself by thinking that you have to look, act or behave a certain way to fit into the queer community. Do what feels right to you. Just be respectful and open to every member of the community and the rest will fall into place. There will always be a spot for everyone inside of our community. 

SLEEK: How has your approach to dating changed since you have gained more experience?

A: It all became very, very different after I came out. At the beginning I always thought okay, I have to say I want a relationship right away, I wanted to have a relationship to prove something to myself. I’m openly queer, I’m a lesbian, I date women. Everything has changed a lot, especially recently and in the last year, and especially what kind of women I date or who I attract. I have to expose myself a bit: I used to focus a lot on my appearance, I attach a lot of importance to it. But recently I’ve found that it doesn’t really make sense to do.

You should date according to character and values and the other person’s ideas about the future and whether they match. You say okay, that works, that doesn’t work. Somehow that taught me a lot and I learned a lot, because of a few things that happened which weren’t so great. Now I no longer date just visually, but more in terms of character and letting everything else come to me.

S: What do you look out for in a Hinge profile now?

A: For me, recently I’ve realised “Okay, I’m drawn to dogs”. Doggos. So when I see that you love animals, everything about them, it’s a big bonus. I had one or two matches where I thought okay, maybe I only matched because of one thing, and that was Taylor Swift. Big Swifty.

When you play with the prompts a bit and bring something into it. I always thought that was really sweet. Otherwise just funny jokes. Just being nice and open, showing a bit of humour, maybe not taking yourself so seriously and taking the piss out of yourself a bit and then somehow making reference to the pictures at the same time, that’s actually really sweet. 

Maria recently opened a surf camp specifically for queer and FLINTA people who are interested in the often male-dominated sport.

SLEEK: What was important for you in opening your own surf camp?

Maria: Creating a queer surf camp involves prioritising inclusivity, safety, and community-building. It’s important to establish clear anti-discrimination policies, provide LGBTQ+-friendly accommodations and facilities, and ensure that staff are trained to create a welcoming environment. Additionally, offering surf instruction tailored to diverse skill levels and providing opportunities for queer individuals to connect with each other can foster a sense of belonging and empowerment. 

S: Has Hinge helped you to connect to the queer community in Berlin?

M: I think when you start in a new city and you’re not that extroverted, I think then it can help a lot. But for me I’m an extroverted person and I meet people on the skate park or at events. 

S: What is important for you when you are dating someone?

M: Someone who makes me feel safe and confident in my gender and identity. Someone who encourages me to pursue my dreams and is there for me.