Photography by Daan Dam
To the average European citizen, beauty pageants don’t stand for much besides American reality trash TV, smothering mothers, suffocating make-up and debutantes drowning in narcissistic insecurity. Think beauty pageant, and the image that springs to mind is one of scantily-clad sorority sisters sashaying across the stage in skimpy leotards, stilettos, and the contents of an entire foundation bottle hair-sprayed to their skin. But bring that phenomenon to Berlin and what do you get? Miss (and Mister) Alexanderplatz, no less, a picture-perfect parade named after the most pathetic Platz in the whole city — a vapid concrete wasteland boasting its very own Primark and a lingering stench of piss.
This year’s event, which was held just over a month ago (and slipped under the radar) was a dazzling spectacle, featuring an all-star line-up and a guest appearance from none other than reigning royalty Anahita Rehbein, better known as Miss Germany 2018. Naturally, the pageant ditched the police-strewn Platz in favour of the far more elegant Ratahauspassagen — because nothing screams glamour like being wedged in between discount sports outlet Decathlon, and that Netto store that looks like it’s been due a refurb since the ’90s. As aromas of sickly sweet-chilli drowning in sesame oil wafted from the Asian take-out around the corner, the judges — a supposed array of “somebodys” — took to their seats, and the finest faces in Berlin — top heavy hunks and high-heel wearing honeys — took to the stage and tried not to topple over.
If you’re sad to have missed it, we can wholeheartedly understand! What better way to while away a Saturday afternoon than to split (white German) people into binary categories and judge them on nothing other than their appearances? Luckily, photographer Daan Dam was on hand to capture the action. So without further ado, here’s what you missed (and Mistered) at Berlin’s event of the year.
Photography by Daan Dam