Courtesy of Instagram.
Since its inauguration in post-war Europe in 1956, the Eurovision Song Contest has served us with fine entertainment combined with highly questionable fashion statements. Over its 63 years, the international song competition — once a soft-strategy to rebuild Europe’s cultural identity — gave us some of the region’s music sweethearts, from ABBA to Julio Iglesias and Céline Dion, and forever cemented our love of Eurotrash.
As the 64th edition of one of Europe’s weirdest institutions kicks off tonight, we selected for you some of its equally weird looks. Because at a time when Europe is increasingly fragmented, what better than poor taste to remind us where we’ve all come from.
Nothing says “Eurovision” quite like a star-trimmed space-age flower collar
All things considered post-Met Gala camp, Sheeba’s spangly showgirl costumes don’t look so bad — in fact the trio would have fitted right in next to Céline Dion or Emily Ratajkowski at last week’s event. With a song entitled “Horoscopes” the whole thing is very 2019, if anything. And besides nothing says “Eurovision” quite like a star-trimmed space-age flower collar.
Disco underwear, anyone?
This is Lithuanian band InCulto who, in 2010, decided to perform in disco underwears sandwiched between white business shirts and emo teenage boys’ sneakers. The song, apparently, was meant as a biting commentary on the west’s perception of eastern Europe. As for the outfits, whatever the rationale, we’re here for it.
Ukraine’s gladiators were just the campest thing
A decade before the Met’s Camp Gala, Ukraine already knew what was coming, nominating local icon Svetlana Loboda surrounded by a herd of semi-naked Roman soldiers with a song called “Be my Valentine”. And yes, they won. That was in 2009.
And more camp points for Ukraine
Back in 2007, Andriy Mykhailovych Danylko better known by his drag stage persona Verka Serduchka, along with a tinfoil troupe, brought sparkling silver madness to the singing competition’s stage. Gussied up in a twinkling shirt dress complete with mirrored trims and a dashing swimming cap affixed with Christmas star on top, the Ukrainian entry goes down in Eurovision history as one of the most bizarre of all.
When the UK managed to make Britney’s Toxic outfit look like haute couture
In a spectacular moment of national cringe, the United Kingdom’s Scooch showcased a merry group of faux flight attendants decked out garish bright blue in 2007. Finished with besequined ties, jaunty little caps and a rather dashing yellow cummerbund, the whole ensemble managed to make Britney’s take on cabin crew chic in the video for “Toxic” look like haute couture. Meanwhile, all talk of flying a flag and pointing out your exits “here” and “here” takes on new potency in the Brexit age.
Can this even count as cultural appropriation?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAEUrp2V4ss
The Asian conqueror Genghis Khan seems like an odd subject matter for Germany to cover in a song contest, but it didn’t stop the band Dschinghis Khan from performing their eponymous hit at the ‘79 Eurovision. The between the guildend Mongol costumes and deep orange spray tans, the performance initially seems to be dripping in cultural appropriation and a variation of blackface, but the group misses the cultural mark by so much in every direction that it seems offensive to link it to any reference point.
When Finland decided to send a Christian metal band to Eurovision and won
Not to be confused with Kiwi pop-star Lorde, Lordi is a Christian finish heavy-metal band with a penchant for elaborate foam-latex monster masks and platform shoes. For whatever reason, Finland decided to send that lot to Eurovision in 2006, and guess what. They won. With a song entitled “Hard Rock Hallelujah”. Of course. And when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder, months laters, a mass gathering of 80,000 formed on a public square in Helsinki to sing the winning opus, setting a Guinness World record for the most people singing karaoke simultaneously. Hellelujah.
Ireland sent double trouble
Jedward, comprised of identical twins John and Edward Grimes, were the troll-doll-haired, shiny-shoulder-padded doubletake Ireland felt best represented them, in 2011 and 2012. While they first appeared in matching red sequin suits with the song Lipstick, they came back the next year in a set of glittering metallic armour to perform waterline Waterline. While the brothers placed 8th their first year, they dropped to 19th in 2012.
Switzerland sent a ringer
Is it fair to send Céline Dion to Eurovision, no, but Switzerland did it anyway. Style-wise it was pretty far from the Instagram glamazon we know today, with the white double breasted blazer, tutu, sensible pumps and off-colour “nude” tights. Still, it’s Céline, so she obviously won.
That time Ireland brought a turkey on stage
Ireland dominates Eurovision with seven wins, so it makes sense that they are also producing some of the most outlandish looks. In 2008, puppet character Dustin the Turkey represented Ireland at the Eurovision Song Contest, only managing to reach the semi-final, but between the fabric bird and the feathered showgirls and dancers that looked like they got lost somewhere between Dublin and Rio it has earned a place on our list.