Photography by Daan Dam
To the average European citizen, beauty pageants don’t stand for much besides American reality trash TV, smothering mothers, suffocating make-up and debutantes drowning in narcissistic insecurity. Think beauty pageant, and the image that springs to mind is one of scantily-clad sorority sisters sashaying across the stage in skimpy leotards, stilettos, and the contents of an entire foundation bottle hair-sprayed to their skin. But bring that phenomenon to Berlin and what do you get? Miss (and Mister) Alexanderplatz, no less, a picture-perfect parade named after the most pathetic Platz in the whole city — a vapid concrete wasteland boasting its very own Primark and a lingering stench of piss.
This year’s event, which was held just over a month ago (and slipped under the radar) was a dazzling spectacle, featuring an all-star line-up and a guest appearance from none other than reigning royalty Anahita Rehbein, better known as Miss Germany 2018. Naturally, the pageant ditched the police-strewn Platz in favour of the far more elegant Ratahauspassagen — because nothing screams glamour like being wedged in between discount sports outlet Decathlon, and that Netto store that looks like it’s been due a refurb since the ’90s. As aromas of sickly sweet-chilli drowning in sesame oil wafted from the Asian take-out around the corner, the judges — a supposed array of “somebodys” — took to their seats, and the finest faces in Berlin — top heavy hunks and high-heel wearing honeys — took to the stage and tried not to topple over.
If you’re sad to have missed it, we can wholeheartedly understand! What better way to while away a Saturday afternoon than to split (white German) people into binary categories and judge them on nothing other than their appearances? Luckily, photographer Daan-Damm was on hand to capture the action. So without further ado, here’s what you missed (and Mistered) at Berlin’s event of the year.
Photography by Daan Dam