Talking about sex is never easy — or at least it takes some practice. We all remember those awkward conversations with sex-ed teachers and parents as teens, and even as adults we struggle to find the right words to describe our most intimate feelings. Truth is, most of us probably learnt a lot about sex through the most expansive and accessible digital resource — pornography. Porn allows us to explore our desires and fill in the gaps left by the outdated sex-ed curriculum, but its impact on our sex lives is not unproblematic. Mainstream pornography often caters to the heteronormative male gaze and contributes to unrealistic beauty standards — but not all the industry is on the same page. In the last few years, we’ve seen the rise of feminist ethical porn which seeks to create a diverse and inclusive portrayal of bodies and sexual experiences and focuses on female and queer pleasure.
Launching this week, educational platform Sex School applies the ethos and burgeoning creativity of the alternative porn scene to ignite an open conversation about sex. Based in Berlin, the platform is “committed to sexual education from a real life perspective,” drawing on the expertise of therapists, coaches and sex workers to create realistic educational videos, addressing everything from consent to contraception, kissing to BDSM. The soon-to-be-released videos will be made available via episodes, taking on the social, cultural and health implications of sex. In the post-PornhHub internet landscape, this is the sex education we truly need.
“Now comes the fun part, we’re going to perform in an instructional how-to video,” says porn performer Parker Marx. Behind his back, the word “Threesomes” is neatly written on a blackboard. The camera slides over books on sexuality and various sex toys in what looks like a regular classroom otherwise. Parker is joined by performers Lina Bembe, Bishop Black, und Sadie Lune as they discuss the intricacies of having a threesome: consent, communication, protection, and emotional nuances like jealousy and awkwardness. The conversation is followed by a 20-minute video of Sadie, Parker and Lina demonstrating everything we just learnt in practice — probably the most informative porn I’ve ever watched.
The idea of Sex School was conceived in 2017 by producer and cultural manager Anarella Martinez-Madrid, which she then developed together with porn director Poppy Sanchez. Together they picked the sex workers and porn performers who would act as teachers, a space usually reserved for sex therapists.
“Sex therapists of course know a lot of theory but don’t have as much hands-on experience,” says assistant director Max K. “Sex workers and performers have to constantly deal with a lot of things we talk about in the show: as part of our work, we have to talk about consent, we have to know our boundaries. It’s also about de-stigmatising sex work: everyone is open and proud about it.” For this reason, the Sex Hub’s videos will combine’ theoretical knowledge with sex workers’ no-holds-barred experience to create educational material to illustrate sex as it really is.
“The main mission of the project is re-educating adults about sex, and sometimes re-educating yourself,” says Sanchez, who directs videos for the project. Interestingly, Sex School is launching as the conversation around sex education is gaining new currency in the UK and across Europe. This week, the UK government announced it would be introducing new guidelines for health and sex education across England to include information about consent, cyber safety, mental health and LGBTQ+ relationships also. Sanchez agrees with the importance of educating children from a young age, but also believes that “adults also really need to go back to school. For me, it also comes from day-to-day experiences, noticing how often people, especially men, are so unaware about such seemingly simple things like consent.”
Both Sanchez and Max are part of the alternative independent porn scene, which is reframing not only the way we consume explicit visuals but also how we look at our bodies and intimacy (Xconfessions, Four Chambers, Pink Label TV und Aorta Films are just a few places you can check for some inspiration).
“I learnt a lot about sex through making porn, which I started doing when I was very young, like 21,” remembers Sanchez. “I was very insecure at the time, and my biggest fear was seeing other bodies, especially feminine bodies and feeling like they were inferior to mine. We all have this idea of porn performers who are always very confident and look amazing, but actually everyone is insecure to some level when they’re exposed and naked in front of strangers. I got put into the role when you have to give them the confidence, and that’s how I gained confidence in my own sexuality and sensuality.”
Meanwhile, Max thanks Sex School and Poppy for opening up his horizons with regard to sex and attraction. “I was a teacher before and taught sexual education always at high school. So, I always thought I was very knowledgeable about sexuality,” reveals the performer. “I am gay, but after working with Poppy on various films and for Sex School I learnt a lot more about sexual fluidity and the fact that attraction is always a scale, and being gay you might also be attracted to women in one way or another”.
Although Sex School is launching at a time when sex education is going under the microscope in schools, it is also emerging at a very challenging moment for talking about sexuality online. On the one hand, the internet seems to be saturated with explicit content, but on the other, it’s constantly being pushed into the margins both by corporate censorship (Instagram censoring female nipples and Tumblr banning explicit content altogether) and governments (SESTA/FOSTA bill in the US and Digital Economy Act and the upcoming age-verification law for commercial porn sites in the UK).
With Sex School’s Instagram account having been blocked a few times (despite the fact that it mainly contains memes and educational material), the founders don’t expect their work to be easy. “Banning something wouldn’t change the fact that people are going to keep yearning for sexuality,” says Sanchez. “I feel like the more censorship we encounter, the more projects like ours are needed.”